I found an app a number of months ago that is a daily ‘affirmation’ pertaining to healing the ‘inner child’. Sometimes, I think it’s all kind of just bogus….you know…when I’m in the mood of ‘what the hell is wrong with me? why am I so dysfunctional? why can’t I just shake it all off and just BE NORMAL!?!’
There have been a couple that *WHAM* really smacked me. Today’s was one of them…..
I can change the way I view my past.
Today I will reach down into the dark depths of my soul and bring the most painful scenes out into the light where I can view them through adult eyes. I see desperately miserable parents lashing out at their innocent child. I see school children mocking cruelly, their name-calling creating wounds that weren’t deserved.
As I see these hurts through new eyes, the labels of shame I had allowed to be attached to my identity drop away. I feel good about who I was and about who I am. Now I see a lovable child, who happened to be a victim of others’ unhappiness.
Today I will choose to see my past through different eyes and in so doing, will see myself anew.
I find it particularly interesting, because, during a recent meditation session, I had a realization:
Your teachers through school change. You have your elementary school teachers in elementary school. They don’t follow you to high school and college to teach you higher levels of education (well….hopefully it’s higher levels of education…..some of the evidence isn’t so supportive of ‘higher’, but that’s a different topic, mostly inappropriate for the purpose of this blog…..). You have new teachers to teach you high school math, English, history. You have even different still professors to profess to you their knowledge (we hope) on a particular topic. You don’t utilize your kindergarten teacher for these…..
This realization came up for me during meditation because my family of origin taught me the lessons they were capable of teaching me…..and only in the way they were capable of teaching it. They couldn’t teach love and compassion because these aren’t topics they are overly familiar with. It came to a point in time where the lessons from them have been taught, learned from (by example or non-example, whichever) and I’ve since moved on to higher level of life educators. I want to spread my wings and fly. I want to become enlightened, awakened, spiritual in all of my acts–it is imperative that I seek learning from skilled educators. I am grateful for the early life lessons and what they taught me. The pain from them, I am confident, helped to shape the compassionate side, the fairness in me. It is invaluable and I’m grateful and I have graduated from that level of learning.
And on to awakening 🙂
(that’s my ‘sighing’ :))
Smile and enjoy