I want to write a post to focus on how LUCKY I am. When people fall into a pit of depression, there’s constant thought of what is LACKING, what DIDNT happen but SHOULD have, ISNT true. I have been there and done that. I’ve been so deep in my depression that my bedspread felt SO HEAVY that staying in bed all day was just the easier option.
BUT I’m a really lucky gal. After I moved out on my own (well…bouncing btwn friends’ houses/couches sometimes), I found a family I LOVED. I met my now ex husband (who I still talk to, trust, and consider a friend). His mom became ‘Mother’ and she raised me from the age of 21, until she died when I was almost 29. She loved me as her own. My whole in-law family did. I was a member of their family. I had a turbulent relationship with my ex-husband, 95% because of my own stuff (maybe 85 maybe 95.. I’m not really being precise), but I do confidently know that he loved me in every best sense that he knew how.
I had a very loving extended family once I was married. It was absolutely beautiful.
The luck didn’t end there. My ex and I came to a point where we couldn’t reconcile our differences. He’s now a friend (and I for him) who can tell me the real deal. His family still considers me one of theirs.
My better half now is incredibly supportive of me and all my ideas, whimsical and half-baked or not. His family is loving and accepting of me. I love that I have a good relationship with a second mother-in-law. His moms other half is so much fun (in a pain in the ass kind of way….said as a term of endearment) to be around. They are my family now too.
I skimmed over my better half, but that’s bc there is so much I could say about him: he is my biggest (and favorite) challenge…I met my match with him. He supports me unendingly and challenges me daily to do better, to be better…not by verbalizing anything in particular. He makes me want to constantly grow, constantly improve, constantly learn, always being a better version of me.
Plus we have just so damn much fun together.
Through my better half and friends of his, I found my spiritual home–a place of unblood family… A HOME. Where there’s love and honesty and respect and appreciation and forgiveness and gentleness. I am a lucky gal to have found a home for my soul.
I could wallow in the past….or I could focus on how much love I’m surrounded by on a constant basis now.
It’s all about perspective.