(‘Lady don’t hurt me’).
I’m not sure what that word means. Does that word have a definition to it? Dictionary.com tells me that there are 7 definitions to it. The first is “profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person”. The second is “a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend”. The seventh is “sexual intercourse, copulation”. Well…..let me just say (with right pointer finger bent slightly at the distal joint)…the seventh definition really doesn’t resonate with me as a definition for love.
The first one though: all of the words in that? Seven words. Those seven words pack quite the punch, don’t you say?
PROFOUNDLY. TENDER. PASSIONATE affection. Profoundly. PROFOUNDLY TENDER.
Wow. That definition strikes me as warm. Unconditional. Amazing.
How good would that feel to have a mutual PROFOUND TENDER PASSIONATE affection with someone else? With yourself AND someone else?
Part of the journey for me is learning how to love myself–really love myself. Unconditionally. I can handle being easy on myself when I do well on something, whatever that something is. But man. Just like so, too, many other people, I can come CRASHING down on myself if I do something wrong. And I withhold the self ‘PROFOUND TENDER AND PASSIONATE AFFECTION’. I convince myself that because I made a mistake, hit a speed bump, ‘screwed up’, that I no longer deserve that level of affection–or any affection.
Why? I know I’m not alone in being hard on myself and feeling horrible, unworthy, no good. But why? Why do we punish ourselves and have such conditions, especially considering that we’re human, we make mistakes, there is no manual. And really, most importantly, we’re truly doing the best that we can with the tools and knowledge we have.
I KNOW without a doubt that I love my better half to the truest sense of this definition. I absolutely have a profoundly tender and passionate affection to him. I thoroughly enjoy being around him. I appreciate and respect the things that he gives me (though….I’m not always appreciative in the moment of the challenges I face when I am forced to REALLY look at myself. I am working on this…among other things). I am blessed that he supports me the way that he does. More than that, I’m blessed that he allows and seeks my support for him–and I ENJOY giving it to him, sharing ideas to be helpful for him in his tasks.
One of my goals on this journey is to develop a PROFOUNDLY TENDER, PASSIONATE AFFECTION for myself–one that is forgiving, unconditional, non-judgmental, and expressed openly and honestly, without fear. To be perfectly honest (what’s the point of this blog if I’m not?), I find it VERY easy to loathe and detest myself. I do far more than just detest mistakes I make. Those mistakes become my definition and I hate me as if I WERE them. If I were just ‘profoundly tender’, I would also be invariably forgiving, in addition to loving. I wonder how much better off everyone would be if they practiced this approach in the mirror. How much better off would children be if their parents demonstrated this?
Can you say that you have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for yourself? Do you treat your mind, soul, and body as if you do?